Learning about healthy relationship with self and others is conditioned from past experiences, meaning that parents and other caregivers can unconsciously demonstrate to people they care for about being anxious, disorganised (wanting to be close, but move away due to fear) or avoid relationships. In turn, the person (such as you) may then meet a partner or friends that support and maintain the unhealthy style (e.g., if you are submissive your partner will be controlling). Therefore the style can last for generations. It is important to be the change so you can then demonstrate to people you care about (and work with) about how to treat yourself and others well.
jb Consulting and Psychology
Counselling, consulting and eduction to improve child, adolescent & youth mental health, and parenting skills.