When a person has memories from the past about interpersonal dysfunction it can cause them to demonstrate pessimistic thoughts, not have the confidence to explore their environment and cope when things don't go their way.
Interpersonal dysfunction can be passed down from generation to generation without awareness. This occurs by not the things that is said only but mainly by what is acted out: through non-verbal communication. The individual may forget to say good-bye, not have time to give a hug or not exhibit expressions that communicate love and acceptance. It may also include over protection because they feel the world is not safe and people can't be trusted or not enough protection because they don't know how to give love because getting close hurt too much in the past so they avoid it.
Emotions can be contagious as we all have mirror neurons that resonates behaviours of others. When our mirror neurons are activated it causes our facial muscles to imitate the expressions we perceive in order to feel secure and safe. The issue is that our perception may not be what is real but what is scripted from our past experiences. Therefore when we are using our cognition to get inside someone's head by using or mirror neurons we will become infected by what we see. This is why when we are in an environment that feels insecure we will become that. This story that has just been experienced will also acknowledge what is perceived. It suddenly becomes real.
Unless we are secure and are able to realise that it is their story not our own. This can happen if you are able to regulate your emotions because you have had quality relationships in the past. Your stuff has been resolved.
When we are young our cortical and limbic structures are developed and allows us to self-regulate by being engaged when we talk to others, not become defensive or feel that we are being attacked and learn from experience rather than see it is failure. We are able to manage our central nervous system therefore activating our parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system in synchrony rather than being aroused causing negative interactions.
It is important that we understand to say good-bye when necessary, to give a hug to tell the other person that they are loved, to engage in conversations emotionally and intellectually and to realise that what you perceive may be from your story that has become activated by a situation that resonates from the past.
jb Consulting and Psychology
Counselling, consulting and eduction to improve child, adolescent & youth mental health, and parenting skills.