How to Remain Assertive
Always strive to learn about “who you are”
Your identity is important when communicating, because it will help you ascertain
where you will feel vulnerable and threatened. Once you know where your
identity is positioned then you can be prepared if it is threatened. For example
you may feel that your work forms your identity and if somebody criticizes your
work then you may react too emotionally rather than assertively.
Be kind to yourself and others
Ensure that you treat yourself and others with respect. This will ensure that you
won’t communicate with an aggressive, passive-aggressive or passive attitude.
Manage stress through good breathing exercises, meditation, keeping a
journal, etc
It is important to remain calm when communicating. Again you will avoid
becoming too emotional. When you communicate with too much emotion your
intelligence goes down and you may say something that you will regret later.
Remain positive
You will speak with a positive attitude when you think with a positive mind-set.
Our brain filters out what we don’t want to hear rather than what the other person
is actually saying. Therefore if we are having a conversation when we are feeling
negative, everything we hear will reflect our attitude.
Acknowledge your feelings and act on them
This will avoid you acting in a passive manner. Your feelings are important and
should be considered and communicated. On the other hand, the other person’s
feelings are also important and should also be considered.
Forgive yourself and others
It is important not to dwell too much in the past and to let go of hurtful situations.
If you don’t then you will only hurt yourself and communicate that emotion to
people you care about.
Talk when the timing is right
If you are feeling too emotional, then tell the other person that you will get back to
them later. Give them a time. This will give you time to consider with you want
to say and the other person’s point of view, including what their intention is.
Give precise information rather than giving long explanations
You don’t have to become too verbal when communicating. This is because you
may end up going off the topic and the subject that you wanted to communicate
will be avoided.
Consider giving helpful feedback and accept them in return
Feel confident enough to accept feedback and learn from it. Also don’t be afraid
to give constructive feedback to others. This will show that you care enough to
help them can grow.
If you feel others are not being fair to you, bullying or controlling you, is
rude, etc then trust your feelings and act assertively. Stand up to
yourself!
© 2011 JB Consulting and Psychology
Your identity is important when communicating, because it will help you ascertain
where you will feel vulnerable and threatened. Once you know where your
identity is positioned then you can be prepared if it is threatened. For example
you may feel that your work forms your identity and if somebody criticizes your
work then you may react too emotionally rather than assertively.
Be kind to yourself and others
Ensure that you treat yourself and others with respect. This will ensure that you
won’t communicate with an aggressive, passive-aggressive or passive attitude.
Manage stress through good breathing exercises, meditation, keeping a
journal, etc
It is important to remain calm when communicating. Again you will avoid
becoming too emotional. When you communicate with too much emotion your
intelligence goes down and you may say something that you will regret later.
Remain positive
You will speak with a positive attitude when you think with a positive mind-set.
Our brain filters out what we don’t want to hear rather than what the other person
is actually saying. Therefore if we are having a conversation when we are feeling
negative, everything we hear will reflect our attitude.
Acknowledge your feelings and act on them
This will avoid you acting in a passive manner. Your feelings are important and
should be considered and communicated. On the other hand, the other person’s
feelings are also important and should also be considered.
Forgive yourself and others
It is important not to dwell too much in the past and to let go of hurtful situations.
If you don’t then you will only hurt yourself and communicate that emotion to
people you care about.
Talk when the timing is right
If you are feeling too emotional, then tell the other person that you will get back to
them later. Give them a time. This will give you time to consider with you want
to say and the other person’s point of view, including what their intention is.
Give precise information rather than giving long explanations
You don’t have to become too verbal when communicating. This is because you
may end up going off the topic and the subject that you wanted to communicate
will be avoided.
Consider giving helpful feedback and accept them in return
Feel confident enough to accept feedback and learn from it. Also don’t be afraid
to give constructive feedback to others. This will show that you care enough to
help them can grow.
If you feel others are not being fair to you, bullying or controlling you, is
rude, etc then trust your feelings and act assertively. Stand up to
yourself!
© 2011 JB Consulting and Psychology